We want your opinion, we want your voice on specific matters about BDSM – It is your opinion that drives the “Voices of BDSM” podcast.
There are controversial questions have been asked within the BDSM community forever and we want to deal with some of them.
The first one is a famous one:
Are slaves or subs allowed to say “No”?
We believe that slaves and submissives should not be allowed to say “No” as it would affect a lot of things related to the dynamics of BDSM.
Now we want your opinion and the reasoning behind it, let us know what you believe in. Let us now if you agree with us or if you think we are idiots who are totally wrong.
We will bring you into the “Voices of BDSM” podcast if you leave us voice mail or we will read from the email you have sent us. All participation is based on anonymity.
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8 responses to “Controversial Question – Are slaves or subs allowed to say “No”?”
It is ridiculous that people don’t see a difference between play and real life, or worse yet, try to force wacky ideas into the real life. There are no slaves, it’s only a game. My slaves/subs obey within scenes and during any extended periods that we agree on but in all situations they are allowed to say ‘no’ even expected to do so if necessary. I’d rather hear no than cause emotional damage. Dominants aren’t gods, should get ovef themselves and be realistic about how much it’s healthy for them to control
By what date are you looking to collect thoughts on this topic?
Also, I’m not sure if the problem is on your end or my end, but I’m unable to send a message through the “email” button. When I hit ‘send,’ I get this error message: “Error: Message body empty.” (There was text in the body, BTW.)
Best,
D
There are no specific date at the moment….
I am sorry for the inconvenience regarding the email function and the error seems to be on our side. Thank you for letting us know about the issue, we will look into it straight away.
The mail function has been sorted out. Now it works as expected. Let me know if you discover other problems that we might have missed. We are looking forward to hear from you and your opinion on the matter at hand.
Hey, also had some email issues, but I strongly agree with Lady N. Within play there are rules, but I don’t expect my pet to be a robot (someone else’s kink). I want a willing spirit. If I prevent him from saying no, how do I know I haven’t messed with his spirit? Playtime only.
Thank you for your take on the subject, it is appreciated. Sorry for the inconvenience regarding the mail function. It has been sorted out now and should work as expected.
This question, taken at face value — “Are slaves or subs allowed to say “No”?” — is fairly easy to answer. Of course they’re “allowed” to say ‘no.’ They’re human beings with agency and free will.
As for this statement: “We believe that slaves and submissives should not be allowed to say “No” as it would affect a lot of things related to the dynamics of BDSM” — it needs a LOT of context.
Does it mean you believe they can’t/shouldn’t say ‘no’ to anything ever? Does it mean they can’t say ‘no’ to things on their list of hard limits? things that are illegal? things that put them (or others) in physical or emotional danger?
I hope that isn’t what you mean. I can’t imagine it is. Perhaps you need to explain or provide some hypothetical situations to get more meaningful responses to your question.
Of course slaves are humans with a free will. Once they had agreed their thoughts and behaviour getting developed and trained to work out how far they might be able to submit, I like to forbid a “no” in all cases. Not all slaves are good for that, but intelligent ones, those who have verbal skills, like it very much.
For example, to answer her master’s teasing question on a tuesday “slave, is it monday today?” a simple “no, master” is boring. But it is interesting and exciting how she might find a true and pleasing answer without any no. “your slave craves to pleasure you more every day, Master, this tuesday more than yesterday, tomorrow more than today”.
I can’t see there any humiliation, it can be a nice playful part in the relationship between Master and slave.